http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/ Sun, 20 May 2012 18:02:22 +0000 MyBB http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=883 Sun, 20 May 2012 14:56:05 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=883
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."]]>
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=882 Sun, 13 May 2012 14:34:41 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=882












Hope you like]]>












Hope you like]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=881 Tue, 08 May 2012 10:11:13 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=881 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=880 Thu, 03 May 2012 16:03:10 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=880
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?"

"No, just here for a few days."]]>
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?"

"No, just here for a few days."]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=879 Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:27:54 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=879
She looks around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet.

She walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a good looking salesman, standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a
professional, in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the woman with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow
missed her little 'incident', she asks, “what is the price of this lovely
bracelet?”

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to
shit yourself when I tell you the price!"]]>
She looks around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet.

She walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a good looking salesman, standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a
professional, in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the woman with, “Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?”

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow
missed her little 'incident', she asks, “what is the price of this lovely
bracelet?”

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to
shit yourself when I tell you the price!"]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=878 Sun, 29 Apr 2012 11:12:17 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=878 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=877 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 13:04:22 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=877 http://www.yousaytheyplay.co.uk/voting/b...520Pistolz]]> http://www.yousaytheyplay.co.uk/voting/b...520Pistolz]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=876 Sat, 28 Apr 2012 11:34:14 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=876
suggested meet times Dover 1000 am
Sandgate 1020 ish
Brenzit 1100 ish

Who is up for this]]>
suggested meet times Dover 1000 am
Sandgate 1020 ish
Brenzit 1100 ish

Who is up for this]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=875 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 09:32:22 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=875


A guy called George phoned and said "I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come."



I said, "Remain calm and stay on the line."]]>


A guy called George phoned and said "I'm lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come."



I said, "Remain calm and stay on the line."]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=874 Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:21:29 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=874
I will be going to the funeral to support Russell and will be going via Scooter.

Roger will remember Russell Mum as she was a orginal Dover Saints Member

Will post with the date of the funeral]]>
I will be going to the funeral to support Russell and will be going via Scooter.

Roger will remember Russell Mum as she was a orginal Dover Saints Member

Will post with the date of the funeral]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=873 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:09:21 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=873 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=872 Tue, 24 Apr 2012 06:35:28 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=872 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=871 Sun, 22 Apr 2012 18:43:53 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=871
"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Suzy."

"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies
Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Suzy."

Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.

Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still £5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Suzy said to the man,
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer
She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."]]>
"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Suzy."

"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies
Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Suzy."

Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged £5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand pounds and gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.

Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still £5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Suzy said to the man,
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her Lawyer
She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance."]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=870 Fri, 20 Apr 2012 15:12:24 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=870 Gilera Runner Stolen in Dover outside of The Dover Working Mans Club,Reg No GX08 GPF, if seen report to the Police please.
(i am posting this for a work colleagues son)]]> Gilera Runner Stolen in Dover outside of The Dover Working Mans Club,Reg No GX08 GPF, if seen report to the Police please.
(i am posting this for a work colleagues son)]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=869 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:16:23 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=869
His reply.......................Jimi Hendrix!]]>
His reply.......................Jimi Hendrix!]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=868 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:12:25 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=868 was getting nowhere with her
“Stammerers Action Group”.
She had tried every technique in the book
without the slightest success. No-one was improving.

Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said
"If any of you can tell me, without stuttering,
the name of the town where you were born
I will have wild and passionate sex with
you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first?"

The Englishman piped up.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham."

"That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist. "Who's next?"

The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out
"P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".

“That's no better.
There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish.”

“How about you, Paddy?”

The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out
"London."

“Brilliant, Paddy!” said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.

After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said













"-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".]]> was getting nowhere with her
“Stammerers Action Group”.
She had tried every technique in the book
without the slightest success. No-one was improving.

Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said
"If any of you can tell me, without stuttering,
the name of the town where you were born
I will have wild and passionate sex with
you until your muscles ache and your eyes water.
So, who wants to go first?"

The Englishman piped up.
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham."

"That's no use, Trevor," said the speech therapist. "Who's next?"

The Scotsman raised his hand and blurted out
"P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".

“That's no better.
There'll be no sex for you, I'm afraid, Hamish.”

“How about you, Paddy?”

The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out
"London."

“Brilliant, Paddy!” said the speech therapist and immediately set about living up to her promise.

After 15 minutes of exceptionally steamy sex, the couple paused for breath and Paddy said













"-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=867 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:09:45 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=867 They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Michael's Mum and
Dad's house near The Boltons for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mum if
Michael and Larry are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to
school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his Mum, 'Are Michael and Larry up
yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go
back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Michael and Larry up yet?'
His Mum says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'






He says: 'Last night Michael came to my room for the Vaseline and I
think......











I gave him my airplane glue.']]> They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Michael's Mum and
Dad's house near The Boltons for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mum if
Michael and Larry are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to
school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his Mum, 'Are Michael and Larry up
yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go
back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Michael and Larry up yet?'
His Mum says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His Mum replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'






He says: 'Last night Michael came to my room for the Vaseline and I
think......











I gave him my airplane glue.']]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=866 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:34:52 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=866 Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
Vet: “Is it a tom?”
Yorkshireman: “Nay, I've browt it with us.”
.....................................................................................

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
Yorkshireman: “No, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!”


...................................................................................

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, “Nah then, lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
Chemist replies, “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?”

....................................................................................



Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called “E by gum”.

....................................]]> Yorkshireman: “Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.”
Vet: “Is it a tom?”
Yorkshireman: “Nay, I've browt it with us.”
.....................................................................................

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: “Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?”
Jeweller: “Do you want it 18 carat?”
Yorkshireman: “No, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!”


...................................................................................

Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist, “Nah then, lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
Chemist replies, “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?”

....................................................................................



Police have just released details of a new drug craze prevalent in Yorkshire nightclubs.
Apparently, Yorkshire clubgoers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called “E by gum”.

....................................]]> http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=865 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 06:29:54 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=865 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=864 Fri, 13 Apr 2012 09:49:05 +0000 http://www.doversaintssc.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?tid=864
I know you guys dont do the 'ways of the darkness' (facebook) so have passed this on here. Would be good to see some Dover Saints boys...

Looks like Dungeness about 1200.

Times for people coming from the east.
Deal 10:00 Sharp;
Old Dover Road 10:20;
Murco Garage Sandgate Folkestone 10:40;
Sussex & Kent meet at Ex Little Chef Brenzett services 11:00 for Dungeness]]>
I know you guys dont do the 'ways of the darkness' (facebook) so have passed this on here. Would be good to see some Dover Saints boys...

Looks like Dungeness about 1200.

Times for people coming from the east.
Deal 10:00 Sharp;
Old Dover Road 10:20;
Murco Garage Sandgate Folkestone 10:40;
Sussex & Kent meet at Ex Little Chef Brenzett services 11:00 for Dungeness]]>